I Won't Quit.

Been feeling tired and emotional since chemo last Friday and they bloody hurt me in the hospital. Everyday is a struggle to do things even the nurses tell me to take extra cleaners for an hour. Kevin myself and the kids clean the House it's not even talking about cleaning. Walking with my slipped pelvis and cancer there to. The pain it takes to walk into the kitchen or to stand for longer then five minutes people have no idea fighting constantly to stay awake from all the medication I'm on. Using the trolly to hold me up in the store little things people take for granted is such a mission to me. I can't be strong all the time I mean I'm not a robot I hate to cry in front of my kids but just rarely it cannot be helped then I feel bad after it. I won't quit no matter how hard it is I'll keep going.

Some Times I'm Happy.

It's just sometimes I get upset. I can be happy and not always down normally something happens like if I'm in a lot of pain or someone does something nice I might get emotional. But it's just a few days here and there. Most of the time I'm fine and am happy out. I do get annoyed at the hospital when it's taken three and four times just to get a little blood out. I'm handling my chemotherapy just fine Kevin came up with the brain storm of me taking chemotherapy at night and I do be perfectly fine next day it makes me very tired but not sick so that's a good thing. At the minute I'm in a really bad way with my back but hoping I can walk proper soon. Thanks for all your lovely kind posts and support I do feel really lucky that way. — feeling loved.

Flowers For A Year.

I have four Aunties left, Two that I don't see and 2 that I do see. The Aunties that I don't see I talk to on Facebook. Except Noramai It's strange and nice after having no contact for years and to be able to talk to nearly all of the Aunties again. It's sad circumstances but on the other hand good I have so many cousins out there I don't even know half of them. There was a competition on Facebook where you have to nominate someone who you think deserves flowers for a year and why you think they deserve them and this is what my aunty Helen said. Helen Costello I would love my niece Catherine Guerin to win this, because she is going through cancer for a long time n in all that she has never once complained really she is one of the strongest people I know n tho I haven't seen her in a good few years I think about her everyday, thank you. I saw this post and was very touched by it.my Aunty Dena and Marie just spoil me rotten without a doubt. I get to talk to my Aunty Cathy and she likes to read my posts to see how I'm doing. My cousins have been great coming to see me and spoil me like crazy. I'm not used to all this love and affection but it's nice.I have been friends on twitter with someone and she sent me a lovely prayerbook with prayers for everyday. I am a lucky girl.

Withdrawl.

So my nurse called today and I told her about forgetting to take my Oxycontin the other morning when I fell back to sleep. I told her I was aggravated all day and had cold like symptoms she told me I was going through withdrawal symptoms and she said if it ever happened again that I have to take my break through every four hours until it's time to take the night Oxycontin tablet because the tablet starts to come out of your system after twelve hours so I won't miss that tablet again.