My Mum Hat Hunting In Spain For Me.

My mum just came back from spending a week in Spain with some friends. I told her I had been searching high and low for a decent hat that I could wear around the house when I'm not wearing the wig. She said she would keep her eyes open for one in Spain while she was away. She went away with a group of Ladies and 2 of my Aunty's. They were searching the shops for a nice hat that covered my whole head but could not find nothing but scarves and head bands. My mum got me 3 head bands with a bit that comes down the back of your head not all the way but pretty close. She picked 3 different colors for me. It was cool and they can be worn in the house. Since she moved away I had not been able to get much time with her because I'm not able to travel for hours yet and neither is she. We got to spend a good few hours together which was really nice.

Herceptin Only Day.

On Wednesday morning I went to the hospital for the short Herceptin visit. The hospital was packed with Cancer patients waiting to be seen. I got called after about half an hour of waiting. The nurse asked me if I had any problems and I said yeah I'm still feeling sick all the time and the anti-sickness tablets were not working and that the doctor forgot to give me some new anti-sickness tablets last week to try. She went off and got the doctor and he gave me a new kind of medicine to try for a week. I need to pick them up today. I am hoping they work for me. I was in an awful mood it was 8.30 am and I was tired and not in the mood for talking. The Herceptin took half an hour then I went home and slept for hours. My mouth is still very dry and sore from the Big Chemo day last week and I'm starving but cannot taste a single thing.

How I'm Feeling After My 5th Round Of Chemotherapy.

It's been 6 days since my 5th big round of Chemo. My bones are starting to feel much better from the Neulasta injection. I didn't get upset this time from the steroids like I normally do. My tongue is very sore and my mouth is very dry. In a few days my mouth should be much better. My hand and arm is still swollen but I will know soon enough after the last Chemo session if the swelling is due to Chemo or the surgery. Today is the first day since last Wednesday that I stayed awake all day. Kevin and I had been working on a project all day helping the little one for school. Her project was to do with muscles and bones. She got it finished and was very happy with it. The food and drinks taste so off right now. I cant wait for my taste buds to return to normal after the last big Chemo session. This time after the Chemo my feet felt really numb and are still numb in places. I'm still having acid reflux all the time and the Zoton are not working for me. I have asked for something else to try but the doctor forgot to give it to me. The peppermint foot spray and gel for my legs seems to be helping a great deal.
I still have hair on my head, eyelashes and some eyebrows so I guess i'm doing pretty good after all.

Why Are There Weeks Between The Big Chemotherapy Sessions?

Why are there weeks between each big Chemotherapy Sessions? The reason for this is because it takes you nearly 3 weeks to recover from all the Chemotherapy and it's side effects. For me once the steroids wear off on the Friday after the Chemo I do be pretty ill for a straight 8 days after. Not everyone is the same and some people take longer or quicker then others to recover each person is different and recovers in their own time. So many side effects go on at the same time for me things like dry mouth, tiredness, weakness, stomach cramps, feeling sick, broken sleep, sore bones from the Neulasta. After the 8 days I start to feel a bit better except for the tiredness that seems to stay with me. The second week after Chemo is when your immune system goes down and you have to be very careful around people that are sick with colds and other illnesses. The third week after Chemo you start to feel a lot better then it's time to have some more Chemotherapy so your body really does need time to recover before it has to be able to take the next dose of Chemotherapy.

Kevin's Birthday 25th September. 3 Days After My 5th Big Chemotherapy Session.

Today is Kevin's birthday. We went out last Thursday evening the next day after the big Chemo session we went to a fancy restaurant with a couch on the floor and it had cushions all around the couch and red curtains that you could draw shut if you wanted to. We ordered lots of little dishes of all different foods in tiny little bowls. I was very very sick with my stomach and felt like I needed to leave and come home a couple of times but I didn't want to spoil Kevin's birthday dinner. He wanted me to leave and go home the last thing he was worried about was his birthday dinner. It was very important for me to be able to stay for all of it. I did not want to spoil the birthday dinner we had planned for a while I wanted Kevin to be happy because I knew we would not be able to celebrate his birthday on the actual day when the steroids wore off and I would be all sick and sore from the Chemotherapy and the Neulasta. I got up this morning and cooked a birthday breakfast for Kevin. He enjoyed it which was good.I just wish it could be a better birthday for him especially as we actually getting to spend his birthday together instead of been half way around the world apart on his birthday.
I love you with all my heart Kevin and happy birthday to you honey xxxxx

Physiotherapy Appointment For Swelling Of Arm And Hand.

Yesterday I went to see the oncologist physiotherapist. He looked at my hand and arm and took some measurements and said he didn't know if the swelling was from the Chemo or swelling from after the surgery. He gave me a support sleeve and glove for my left arm and I have to go back to see him in December when the Chemotherapy finishes then he will know more. He told me to protect my arm as much as I can for longterm. I have to exercise and massage with E-45 medicated cream which I am doing already. The sleeve and glove have to be worn from morning till night everyday to help with the swelling.
So hopefully they will do some good and take the swelling down. It's great having Kevin beside me through the whole nightmare he has been a blessing from God to me I could not have asked for a better person.

My Advice For When Your Taking Steroids On Chemotherapy.

Before you start your Chemotherapy after been diagnosed with breast cancer your given lots of different medicine to take and steroids are what you are given along with anti-sickness tablets, anti-reflux tablets and mouth wash to keep your mouth from getting sore. The steroids stop you from sleeping and keep you awake sometimes till the next day without any sleep. The first time I took them I took 4 steroids the morning before the Chemotherapy started and I took them at 8am and then took the second 4 steroids 12 hours later no one had explained that I needed to take the second lot at lunchtime and I was awake the whole night. The next time I went I was told they keep you awake so take the second lot at lunchtime not in the evening. Not that it made much of a difference because they still keep you awake. You have to take the steroids twice a day for 3 days to stop you having a reaction form the Chemotherapy. They are taken the day before Chemotherapy, the day of Chemotherapy and the day after Chemotherapy. My advice to anyone taken steroids before Chemotherapy is to take them as early as you can and take the second lot 4 hours after. They give you lots of energy while your taken them for the 3 days. When you finish taken steroids after the third day as they start to wear off they make you depressed for a couple of days and then you really start to feel very very tired again so rest and sleep as much as you can.

Fatigue In The Legs And Feet. Peppermint Cream Works !!!!

Let me explain what fatigue is first in the legs and feet. It's a feeling of extreme tiredness and heaviness and aching that does not go away even with plenty of rest. I had been suffering really bad with it for the last couple of months and I kept saying it to the doctors. They kept telling me it was just part of the side effects of the Chemotherapy but didn't recommend anything for my problem. When I went to have my Radiotherapy tour of the other hospital a nurse recommended I try some peppermint cream from the health shop and said people find that it really helps so I thanked her and said I would give it a go. I got the peppermint cream and it is especially for tired legs it cost in euro 10.25. I also picked up peppermint cooling foot spray for 8 euro 55 cent. I put the cream on my legs and the foot spray on my feet. Normally after a bit of walking my legs and feet do be throbbing and aching from tiredness but with the cream and foot spray on they were much better. my feet still felt a bit tired but not half as bad as they would have been without the cream and spray. It feels really good finally actually having something that really helps. So my advice is for anyone suffering from fatigue in the legs and feet is give the peppermint cream and foot spray a go it works for me :) I hope you find this some bit helpful.

Wednesday 22nd Of September 2nd Last big Chemo Session.

Yesterday was my 5th big Chemo session. We were at the hospital for 9 am had to wait 2 hours to be called by the doctor finally got called and got the go ahead for my 5th big Chemo session we had to go away and come 3 hours later for the Chemo. We went on a walk into town and bought my eldest daughter a new phone for doing so well in her exams then went back to the hospital to have the Chemo done. The Chemo took 2 and a half hours to finish then when it was over our daughter met us outside the hospital and we gave her the phone she was very happy then we took her for dinner. My feet and legs were very very tired from been on them all day so when we got home I rested and fell asleep till 430 am. I was happy I got to get some sleep. I had a nice recliner chair in the hospital and I put up the foot rest for the first time ever yesterday it was good to be able to rest my legs and feet after all the walking. kevin just had an uncomfortable little stool to sit on for 2 and a half hours. We played cards again and had a big bucket of Red Bull each to make the time go by quickly I could not wait for the Chemo to be over so we could leave. One last Big Chemo session to go and it cant come quick enough for me :).

The Tour OF The Radiotherapy Department.

Yesterday Kevin and I went to the hospital to have a tour of the radiotherapy department where I'm having my radiotherapy treatment. It was an open evening and 14 people were supposed to attend. There were only 4 people that turned up myself, Kevin and 2 other people. 2 nurses talked about radiotherapy then gave us a tour of the different treatment rooms and planning treatment rooms. They asked if we had any questions about radiotherapy then answered them. Then we had a coffee and a biscuit. My legs were hurting from tiredness and one of the nurses told me to try peppermint cream and said it's supposed to be really good for the legs. So finally got some advice as to how to help my legs feel a bit better. We were told the Radiotherapy treatment is not painful at all and that it does make you very tired. I picked up an information booklet on Radiotherapy and read it all. It's handy because I can go back to the book when it's time to have my treatment. It was good getting out of the house for a bit even though my legs and feet were extremely tired. We got back and I slept all night.

Herceptin Only Today.

Today Kevin and I were at the hospital for 8 am didn't have long to wait before I was called. The Herceptin took the usual half an hour. We asked the nurse if there was anything I could do to make the fatigue go away or at least to help it. She gave me the
support stocking to see if they would help. My hand and arm is still swollen I have to wait for an appointment from the oncology Physiotherapist. There is nothing I can do in the meantime except wait. Things are not all bad we had some good news today my daughter passed her junior cert exams with all honors she was in tears with happiness. Kevin and I are so proud of her for doing so well. she done us proud :).

Left Hand And Left Arm Swollen.

This morning I woke up and my hand and arm was still very sore and I noticed my hand was swollen so I rang oncology and told them and they asked me to come to the hospital at 1pm. Kevin and I went over at 1 and they saw me pretty quickly and took some blood and my temp it was 38 then I had to have a chest x-ray and wait to see the doctor. She said if my blood came back low then I would have to stay in hospital for a few days and have some antibiotics because of the temp. The swelling is just something that happens after having surgery and having the nodes removed and that it is nothing to worry about. She referred me to the Physiotherapy department and I just have to wait to hear from them. The bloods came back ok and I didn't have to stay in.

For Anyone Just Diagnosed With Cancer.

This is especially for anyone just diagnosed with cancer. When I first got diagnosed with breast cancer I was clueless about everything. I joined Twitter and got to talk to so many Cancer patients who had been through Cancer, going through cancer, had loved ones with cancer, and I found it very helpful having so much support. If I had any questions that I needed answered someone would always answer them. The support from everyone on Twitter done me the world of good and helped me a lot. So many nice people sending best wishes, prayers, support, it is amazing. I could vent whenever I was feeling down or just wanted to let of some steam. I hope you find this information some bit useful and if I can be of any help don't hesitate to ask.
Catherine. x

Half My Eyebrows Are Missing After 4th Chemo Session.

Half of my eyebrows are missing after the 4th Chemo Session. It looks mad and I feel a bit weird I have to say. But at least they didn't fall out after the first Chemo session. I still have my eyelashes for now and my hair is still growing back really slowly after the second time I shaved it all off. My little girl was talking to me about breast cancer and she asked if it upset me talking about Cancer. I told her I was not upset and she could ask me anything she wanted to know. As for my eyebrows no i'm not going to use pencil to draw eyelashes when they go they go not much I can do about it. I'm keeping it in mind that there is only 2 big Chemo sessions left to do. A few weeks after Chemo stops my hair should start growing back at a much faster rate then it is at the moment.

For Anyone Just Diagnosed With Cancer Twitter Can Help You Lots.

Herceptin Only Today.

Today we got up at 7 and went up to the hospital at 8am. I got called pretty quick and didn't have to see a doctor the nurses give me the Herceptin I just see a doctor on the big Chemo days or if something is wrong. It took half an hour for the Herceptin to get done then we came back home and slept for hours again. I asked the nurse if the more treatment I get makes me more tired and she said yes so I guess that explains the extreme tiredness all the time. We forgot to bring the playing cards with us lol. We were rushing to make sure the kids were all up and ready for school before we left. I am glad today was not a long day I don't have much energy for anything.

I'M Going To Tell It Like It Is. Breast Cancer, Chemo Effects, Everything.

In this post I'm going to tell it how it is in my opinion. The Breast Cancer, Chemo, Effects, Thoughts. Any type of Cancer is very hard to deal with. In my case it is Breast Cancer. Firstly Cancer and Chemotherapy can effect different people in different ways for some they can deal with the Cancer very well and have little side effects from the Chemotherapy treatment others do not deal with having cancer so well and have awful side effects from Chemotherapy. Sometimes you will even get people that make things out to be worse then what they actually are so I'm going to tell it exactly how it is for me. There is no point in dressing things up or making them worse then what they actually are so I will just be honest and blunt. If anything it is a learning experience for people that don't know some of the effects you can get from Chemotherapy. Since I was diagnosed with breast cancer in April 2010 my world has changed so much. I'm still trying to deal with having cancer, having a breast removed, Chemotherapy, emotions, self esteem, children. I'm going to write a little on each topic. I cant speak for everyone so these are just my opinions.

Cancer.
In my opinion when a person is told they have cancer it feels like the end of the world and the first thing I wondered was if I was going to die. It was heart braking to hear that I had Cancer and having to tell everyone and watch them all cry.

Having a breast removed.
I had a cancer lump grade 3 in my left breast and was advised to have it removed as soon as possible I agreed straight away. I wanted to save my life. The breast was removed along with 7 nodes from under the armpit. I was very numb and sore after. I was given a temporary boob while I was healing after surgery and a permanent boob to place in a specially fitted bra once I had healed up properly. It's been 5 months since the surgery and I am still numb under the arm. Its a strange feeling having a breast gone and it makes me feel not normal. I am having reconstruction surgery when all the treatment is over but it will never be the same again.

Chemotherapy.
Chemotherapy effects people in different ways. I have finished my 4th Big Chemo session which consists of Herceptin, Taxotere, Carboplatin which is given through a drip into my arm and takes roughly 2 and a half hours for it to finish.
My side effects are as follows. Feeling sick, hair loss, extreme tiredness, dry mouth and sore tongue, my finger nails have changed to a brown color, little sweats from time to time. I have to take 8 steroids the day before Chemo, Day of Chemo, Day after Chemo they stop you having a reaction to the Chemotherapy. They stop you from sleeping and make you very depressed when they wear off for a couple of days.

Emotions.
My emotions are all over the place so many different feelings and things to cope with. Some days I'm ok other days I am not. I do feel like crying every day and that it's just not fair getting Cancer at the age of 38. I hate the fact that my children and partner have to suffer the way they do because of me.

Self esteem.
My self esteem is literally none. My hair is nearly all gone except a little bit and having the breast removed makes me feel like a man instead of a woman. I also wear a medicated wig which looks like real hair and no one can tell it is a wig but I know it is and it does not help my self esteem because I feel like a freak in it.

Children and partners.
Not only do you suffer but your children and partner does just as much as you. Cancer is a horrible thing for your loved ones to have to deal with. They worry about you and always wonder if your going to die or make it and have to watch you suffer and know there is nothing they can do. Lots of time gets missed with them because of sickness and treatments and sleep.

So for all the people that think it's just cancer to cope with or that your dealing with things great and coping take all topics into consideration and have a read of what its really like for some. No one can fully understand unless they go through cancer themselves.

So Much Pressure On Kevin.

This post has to do with Kevin and How I think he is coping with me having breast cancer. Firstly I have to say he could not be more supportive even if he tried. He has been like an angel watching over me around the clock. Taken care of the children and doing everything around the house, shopping, cooking, cleaning, washing, making sure I have everything I need. Going everywhere with me to make sure I'm ok. He watches me suffer from the Chemo and the effects it has on me. When I'm up for nearly 3 days straight with no sleep he is awake with me. When I'm upset and down about things he is there for me and tries to make me feel better, loved and wanted. I think it is very hard for Kevin sometimes and he tries to be strong for me so he can be my support. I tell him it's ok for him to be upset and it's ok to talk to me about things when he needs to because I understand it's got to be as hard for him as it is for me to deal with. I know it is very stressful when you don't know what to do or say to make people feel better. He is very good to me and I adore him very much. We seem to go through lots of things but always manage to get through the tough times together.

How The 4TH Chemo Session Made Me Feel.

The fourth Chemo session was last week and I'm only starting to feel a little better now. I have slept so much the last week I should be well rested but I'm still very very tired all the time. My legs do feel like have been on them for hours on end even when I am resting. My mouth and tongue is very sore and has been for a few days. I am still feeling sick and waking up at all crazy hours of night and day when I sleep. I am going through hot flushes that could be due to the Chemo or the early menopause I wont know that till after all the Chemo is finished. Today I feel a little better and I'm back at the hospital tomorrow morning at 8am for the Herceptin. The steroids did keep me awake this time and when they wore off I did nothing but sleep and be depressed for days. I know it's the steroids that get you down. It is very tough with all the treatments and effects of medication. People think if you look good or sound good that your ok and coping with everything but I'm sorry to say that is so not the case. It's not just Cancer that has to be dealt with but so many issues as well that people would not even imagine things like having a breast gone, menopause, sweats, no sleep, tiredness, feeling week, how your partner is coping, Missing out on time with the kids, how the kids are coping, guilt, self esteem, the list is endless and so much to think about and try cope with it all at the same time.

1st Of September 2010 Big Chemo Day !

Today Kevin and I got to the hospital for 9am. We didn't have long to wait before the bloods were taken then the doctor called me. The bloods were not back so I had to leave and go back at 1.30pm. We got back to the hospital for half one the bloods were fine so the fourth Chemo session was done we didn't get out of the hospital till 5.30pm.I didn't have to see my doctor I got to see one of his team which was cool because she was a lady doctor who was very nice. Kevin and I played cards for hours while we waited for the treatment to finish. Came home only to realize my own doctor didn't give me the steroids I needed so Kevin is going around first thing in the morning to get them for me. I am going to take it easy for the next 8 days now and hope I'm not to ill after the big Chemo session today. I am glad it was not cancelled that is the forth one out of the way now thank God only 2 more big Chemo sessions to go :). We had some nice little cream fairy cakes while we played cards they were just what I needed.
That is another long Chemo day out of the way cant wait for the last one.