PERMISSION GRANTED !!!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Today my fiancée was granted permission to be with me for a few weeks :) :) :)

I am so happy I cannot wait it has been a long 7 months since we last saw each other and so much has happened in that time. Tomorrow morning is my operation to remove my left breast and gland under my left arm I am nervous but the excitement of kevin coming over keeps me smiling, strong and very happy. I cannot believe my luck !!! It came to 5 o clock this evening and I was so depressed thinking we would hear nothing back today from immigration. I was so happy to get the call granting permission felt like all my Christmas's coming together at once. So many people have been trying to help us and I am extremely grateful. Everyone's prayers have been a blessing in so many ways. To both mine and kevin's family and everyone that supported us we love you all thank you so so much xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Results Of Tests And Scans.

Today I went back to the hospital at 1pm for my results. The doctor had been delayed so had a long anxious wait for my turn I could feel myself shaking inside. The doctor said all the scans and blood tests came back clear the cancer had not spread and that it was just the left breast in 2 areas and the gland under my arm he recommended I have a Mastectomy on Friday morning because he had a space free for me. So the surgery is been done Friday morning. I was not expecting things to happen that fast I knew I would have to have surgery within the next few weeks but it's a matter of days. I am very nervous and wish the love of my life was by my side right now. I am determined to beat this one way or another and am very grateful to god for giving me the chance to be able to do this. I am going to make it to my dream wedding to Kevin.

Thank You To Everyone Supporting Us. xxxxxx

I would like to thank everyone supporting us at this difficult time. It has been so hard over the last few weeks. The support from everyone has been amazing and does make a big difference. Myself, kevin and the kids do appreciate all the support we are getting. We would also like to thank everyone trying to help in any way that they can and for all the prayers, best wishes, thoughts, kind words, listings and followers. We all have a tough journey ahead of us and it's not going to be easy but we will get through it someway. Your support means a great deal to us and we cant thank everybody enough. Lots of kisses and hugs to you all. God bless you and thanks xxxxx

Catherine.

My Lovely Long Hair Does It Have To Go?

I'm not sure yet if my hair will fall out from treatment I'm hoping I'm lucky enough to keep it I will be devastated if it has to go. One thing I do like about myself is my hair!

If it has to go then I'm getting a wig as soon as possible! my sister told me last night if my hair goes she is cutting her hair short in support of me. When she said that I felt choked.

I have had long hair for as long as I can remember and I know it will grow back it's just the thought of it all and how quick things are going to start happening to me. I am scared I'm scared of it all!

Sometimes I feel like getting a scissors and chopping all my hair off to help me prepare for it.

I know Kevin will love me no matter what happens to me and thats really good to know.

My daughters communion is coming up in a few weeks and I want to have hair for that special day. It's important for her that I look good I don't want her to be embarrassed of me!

Seems like a little thing to worry about but I feel like it's major to me.

I'm Going To Keep Writing My Breast Cancer Journey All The Way !!!!!

I'm not stopping here. I am going to keep writing my breast cancer journey all the way. Through all the pain, stress, fear. And show people just how serious it is and what I have to go through. It's not another ordinary day for me!!! Everyones lives are going to change in a big way especially mine.

I have determination to fight for everything I want and will get it even if it means with NO HELP !!

How can one prepare for something as big as Cancer? I can fight and take each day as it comes but that doesn't mean I'm ready. It is easy to say to people your a fighter, think positive, you can do it, When your not the one that has to. I do admire anyone who has had to deal with cancer in anyway. At this point I can only imagine what people with cancer have had to go through. I know I have all this to face and that I have to face it without the love and support of my fiancée by my side.

I feel like I'm alone without him doesn't matter how many people say your not alone fact is I am alone inside without him! My heart is broke without him and has been for a long time. It's 7 months since I last saw him and I don't know how long it will be till I can see him again. It's not fair it's not like I haven't done my fair share of travel to see him and now that I physically cant travel he is not allowed to come to me. So my question is: DOES NOBODY HAVE A HEART?

Breast Cancer Is Not A Piece of Cake !!!!!!!!!!!

I guess I can't get over the fact that ANYONE can say breast cancer is not serious enough!!!!!

I think about it every single day! Yes it can be treated, beaten, Imagine been told YOU had breast cancer would you be thinking ok it's not serious it can be beaten and I can do this without the support of my loved one thousands of miles away? All I can say is power to you if you can!!!!

So many worries are going through my mind right now and I still don't think I am ready for whats in store for me, my fiancée, and children! Might be easy for people that are NOT affected by it but is sure isn't going to be easy for any of us!!!!!

At 19 I was smashed into by a lorry so I know All about hardship and PAIN and now at 38 I face another major battle in life!!!! Seriously do I not deserve a brake right now?

In my entire 38 years of life Kevin is the only person that has made me very very happy and feel loved! I need him more than ever by my side and I wish people could understand in some small way. Life keeps kicking me down and he is the only one that can pick me up !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Scans And Tests Today.

What a day I had today! left the house at 8am went to the hospital had to have a liver scan first unaware that you had to fast for it. I never usually eat in the mornings but decided to have a lovely croissant filled with chocolate and a hot chocolate drink to go with it. I was nervous about the tests. Turned out they could do the liver scan after all and she told me the liver looked good. What a relief and the first thing I thought was Thank you God. Next was the lung x-ray which only took a few seconds then I had my bloods done then down to the nuclear medicine for the injection into the arm to show up all my bones for the bone scan I was trembling with fear and the bone scan seemed endless my back was braking and my hands were going numb from keeping so still. I was asked if I had any pains in my bones I said no and was told I could go that I was all done. I was wondering why I was asked that question which had me even more worried when I left. It was bothering me so much I had to ring the breast nurse to find out why I was asked that question. She reassured me it was a normal question to ask looked at the computer and told me all the scans and x-ray results were back and that they were all clear !!! I was well happy. The cancer had not spread to other parts of my body. I go back to the hospital on Wednesday at 1 o clock for all the results and to see the specialist.