I'm Still Numb And Fed Up !!!!!!!!

I had the surgery weeks ago to remove my left breast. I am still so numb and fed up it was very very frustrating not been able to brush my hair and do little things like normal. I feel very weird and tight where the breast was removed. When I wear clothes on the top half of my body it feels so strange and numb and swollen. I have reconstruction to look forward to so that helps a little. My self esteem was very little before, now I have non what so ever. Having cancer has made me see things different from before. I am grateful for lots of things like a chance to live, fight this cancer, marry the man of my dreams, See the children grow up. One saying that sticks in my mind is "one door closes another one opens" I go over that saying in my head over and over again and I don't know why it sticks there. Maybe one day I'll know what it means.